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The way to a woman's heart

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Jokes Date: January 31, 2020

What the quickest way to a woman's heart? Through his chest with a knife

How to cure constipation

TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure constipation

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson was a pedophile.

What do you want for Christmas?

Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes.

COVID-19 quarantine

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable COVID-19. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit, the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

A talking cookie

Two cookies are in an oven. The first cookie says "is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second cookie says "holy shit! A talking cookie

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