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Jokes Date: March 28, 2020

My wife Googled "how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter" and now she won't let me stay home alone.

How to keep an asshole in suspense?

Do you know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!

Elon Musk discovery

Elon Musk: It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog.

Chuck Norris birthday jokes

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital. On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking. Happy anniversary Chuck Norris!

Let's make love

A man tells his wife "Here's your aspirin, my dear." Wife: Why are you giving me an aspirin? I don't have a headache. Man: Gotcha! Let's make love!

Coronavirus vaccine

Chuck Norris's tears cure coronavirus... Too bad he has never cried.