Date: March 7, 2020
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead
What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force
COVID-19 isolation updated statistics: confirmed cases: 0, beaten by wife: 3000, beaten by police: 1500
A woman goes to the doctor... The doctor asks "What seems to be the problem?" She responds, "Every time I sneeze, I orgasm," The doctor asked, "Are you taking anything for it?" "Yeah, pepper.
I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
Self-isolation day 10: -Where is your wife? -In the yard. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.