Date: February 6, 2020
I just came back from my trip to the Virgin Islands... Now they just call them the Pregnant Islands.
The Coronavirus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about. It can't be transmitted by your own hand.
Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't remember... Call her fat once and she will never forget. That's because elephants never forget.
Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: "We gotta go back, I forgot to pee." The other one replies: "No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. I have good news: today I am operating the plane safely from home. The bad news is that we have no approved landings due to the global pandemic and we are out of fuel.
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers? No, you should eat your fingers separately!