Date: February 6, 2020
I just came back from my trip to the Virgin Islands... Now they just call them the Pregnant Islands.
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
So today is International Women's Day It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: "We gotta go back, I forgot to pee." The other one replies: "No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!
I only drink twice a year: When it's my birthday, and when it's not
Self-isolation day 10: -Where is your wife? -In the yard. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little.