Date: November 15, 2019
I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
The Coronavirus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about. It can't be transmitted by your own hand.
Doctor, I'm having trouble with my breathing.I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!
If it is not Valentine's day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?
I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.
"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."