Date: November 15, 2019
I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
What did the robbers say to Santa? Nothing, Those gifts were from parents.
I must admit, my coronavirus T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car parking.
Black olives matters. This is not a conspiracy theory. The antioxidant nutrients in black olives impede this oxidation of cholesterol, thereby helping to prevent heart disease. Olives do contain fat, but it's the healthy monounsaturated kind, which has been found to shrink the risk of atherosclerosis and increase good cholesterol.
I just came back from my trip to the Virgin Islands... Now they just call them the Pregnant Islands.