Date: January 30, 2020
My friends think I have a drinking problem. So I told them: no, I actually think I drink quite well
If this gets 1000 upvotes, my wife and I will try anal... Please don't, her strap on is huge!
"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. I have good news: today I am operating the plane safely from home. The bad news is that we have no approved landings due to the global pandemic and we are out of fuel.
What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar.
If we replace all "Chuck Norris" jokes with Kim Jung Un... We could write the North Korean Official Website.