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Jokes Date: March 7, 2020

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat? None! Cats can't sew!

I only drink twice a year

I only drink twice a year: When it's my birthday, and when it's not

Michael Jackson's face

Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face, coz he stole his underpants.

Chuck Norris can touch this

MC Hammer recorded another version of "Can't touch this" after Chuck Norris touched it.

A fire chief died

A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get into the pearly gates. He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "Youll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir."While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels. He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a Fire Chief.

Caught having sex with the secretary

I got caught having sex with the secretary by my wife. My wife was crying and saying you cant do this to me! I said: I Know that's why I'm doing it to her!