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Home alone jokes

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Jokes Date: March 28, 2020

Too bad Boris Johnson never watched Home Alone. It could have been a real game-changer.

International Women's Day

Knowing its International Women's Day is the only thing I know about women

COVID jokes

COVID-19 statistics: Forget about COVID jokes. The worst virus is CHUCK-NORRIS-20. There is no quarantine, only death.

COVID

My cat just sneezed directly into my eyeballs so I'll probably be dead soon. Goodbye, guys. No, you can't have my stuff.

A fire chief died

A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get into the pearly gates. He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "Youll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir."While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels. He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a Fire Chief.

Alcohol kills Coronavirus

Alcohol kills Coronavirus just on your hands. Don't try it on your liver.

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