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Jokes Date: March 25, 2020

Pandemic tips: don't get COVID-19! Wait for Hantavirus. We have information that it is an updated version.

A fire chief died

A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get into the pearly gates. He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "Youll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir."While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels. He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a Fire Chief.

Alcoholics need a drink

I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one

Life is meaningless

Life is meaningless, but some of the food is decent

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson was a pedophile.

International Women's Day

So today is International Women's Day It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.