Date: February 10, 2020
I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.
Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy. The trick is to cut up the vegans into very small chunks first.
My wife Googled "how responsible does a 10yr old need to be to stay at home without a babysitter" and now she won't let me stay home alone.
I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray." "You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.
Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.
A woman goes to the doctor... The doctor asks "What seems to be the problem?" She responds, "Every time I sneeze, I orgasm," The doctor asked, "Are you taking anything for it?" "Yeah, pepper.