Date: March 16, 2020
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So, I'm off to find a bar with a mirror.
Trump claimed in a recent interview that he'd fund the search for alien life forms. He said he'd start by finding and deporting the ones in the U.S.
I'll have to report you sir" said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour." "Nonsense officer" declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes.
I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray." "You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.
I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.
I was in a serious relationship once. We never even smiled.