Date: November 11, 2019
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will be siting a boat and drink beer all day.
I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
The Coronavirus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about. It can't be transmitted by your own hand.
Wife: Fred, why did you put a slug in my mother's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake.
I must admit, my coronavirus T-shirt is giving me a lot of personal space inside this subway car parking.
Doctor, how do I stop my nose from running?! Stick your foot out and trip it up!