Date: November 11, 2019
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will be siting a boat and drink beer all day.
Elon Musk: It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog.
COVID-19 isolation statistics: confirmed cases: 0, deaths: 0, divorces: 1000.
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson was a pedophile.
I would tell a joke about COVID-19... But nobody likes knock-knock jokes
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable COVID-19. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit, the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."