Date: March 11, 2020
My cat just sneezed directly into my eyeballs so I'll probably be dead soon. Goodbye, guys. No, you can't have my stuff.
Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me. Next, please!
Never make the same mistake twice. Make it three times. Be sure...
My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom. This morning we synthesized a new protein chain.
Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to a fight, the loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate and burn them. Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.