COVID jokes

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Jokes Date: March 16, 2020

COVID-19 statistics: Forget about COVID jokes. The worst virus is CHUCK-NORRIS-20. There is no quarantine, only death.

Captain speaking working from home

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. I have good news: today I am operating the plane safely from home. The bad news is that we have no approved landings due to the global pandemic and we are out of fuel.

COVID-19 quarantine

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable COVID-19. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit, the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

Chuck Norris fart the Big Bang

Chuck Norris is a creative kind of guy, the last time he farted it was quite a big deal. Scientifically speaking, they call it the Big Bang.

Send this joke to ten of your friends

Superstitions are stupid! Send this joke to ten of your friends or you will lose 100$ within the next two weeks!

So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious""