Date: March 16, 2020
COVID-19 statistics: Forget about COVID jokes. The worst virus is CHUCK-NORRIS-20. There is no quarantine, only death.
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. I have good news: today I am operating the plane safely from home. The bad news is that we have no approved landings due to the global pandemic and we are out of fuel.
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable COVID-19. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit, the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."
Chuck Norris is a creative kind of guy, the last time he farted it was quite a big deal. Scientifically speaking, they call it the Big Bang.
Superstitions are stupid! Send this joke to ten of your friends or you will lose 100$ within the next two weeks!
So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: ""Doesn't it bother you that I'm 13??"" So I replied: ""Not really, I've never been superstitious""
How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.