Date: March 16, 2020
COVID-19 statistics: Forget about COVID jokes. The worst virus is CHUCK-NORRIS-20. There is no quarantine, only death.
Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes.
Happy New Year! Welcome to 20!
I reply to ""Happy New Year"" with ""not if I have anything to do with it.
Every year I make a resolution to change myself... this year I am making a resolution to be myself!.....Happy new year 2020..
Kids - there is no Santa. Those gifts were from your parents. Happy New Year from Wikileaks
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 bolts to put a car together, but only one nut to spread it all over the road. Don't Drink & Drive!
A pedophile walks into the woods with a little girl... Girl: I'm scared Pedo: Me too, I need to walk home alone.
Vladimir Putin arrives at a Germain airport. The officer asks him: Nationality? Putin replies Russian. The officer: Occupation? Putin: No, no, just visiting.
Happy new year!! Brrrrrr it's cold outside... It has to be the coldest day of the year