Date: March 26, 2020
"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson was a pedophile.
COVID-19 was exposed to Chuck Norris. The virus has been quarantined for 144 days
My friends think I have a drinking problem. So I told them: no, I actually think I drink quite well
Vladimir Putin arrives at a Germain airport. The officer asks him: Nationality? Putin replies Russian. The officer: Occupation? Putin: No, no, just visiting.
Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you have to drink a lot of it.