Date: March 10, 2020
Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.
Wife: Fred, why did you put a slug in my mother's bed? Fred: Because I couldn't find a snake.
What's the most common day to get sick on? Achoosday
How to cure a headache 1. Drink a glass of water. 2. Take 10 deep breathes. 3. Give headache your credit card & tell her to go to the mall.
Two drunks come out of a bar... One says to the other: "We gotta go back, I forgot to pee." The other one replies: "No problem, dude, I can teach you how to do it!
I kissed a girl in the club and she said, "Oh my God, you've been smoking. It's just like licking an ashtray." "You non-smokers have some funny habits," I replied.