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Jokes Date: April 16, 2020

After 30 days of lockdown, You're not fat, you're just... easier to see

Captain speaking working from home

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. I have good news: today I am operating the plane safely from home. The bad news is that we have no approved landings due to the global pandemic and we are out of fuel.

COVID-19 patient zero

"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."

Chuck Norris cured Coronavirus

Chuck Norris cured Coronavirus. The virus is healthy at the moment. It paid a lot for his treatment.

Toilet paper lack

What does Bill Gates when he lacks toilet paper? He uses $100 (one hundred) bills.

Traffic cop to the speeding driver

I'll have to report you sir" said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour." "Nonsense officer" declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes.