Date: March 17, 2020
Scientists have created a mutant version of the deadly COVID-19 virus in an effort to better understand how pandemics start. I'm not a scientist, but now I understand how pandemics start.
Chuck Norris got something for a bad headache: a roundhouse kick. Then you'll have a bad headache.
My Therapist said I have a drinking problem. So I got a new Therapist.
Doctor, I'm having trouble with my breathing.I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!
COVID-19 isolation statistics: confirmed cases: 0, deaths: 0, divorces: 1000.
Boss sent me a message the other day: Send me some funny messages. I replied: I'm working right now, I will send you later. Boss: hahaha..send me another one