Date: March 15, 2020
I am very ill, you have to help me out! Certainly, get out, please?
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon, and Michael Jackson was a pedophile.
My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better.
I can't wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
Can I ask you a question? You just did.
A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get into the pearly gates. He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "Youll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir."While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was pissed and went to talk to the angels. He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a Fire Chief.