Date: April 14, 2020
COVID-19 isolation updated statistics: confirmed cases: 0, beaten by wife: 3000, beaten by police: 1500
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands They are now known as the Islands.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
Latest recommendation: don't get COVID-19! Wait for COVID-20. We have information from certain sources that it is an improved version.
Husband asked his wife: "why don't you tell me when you have orgasm?" She replied: "because I don't like calling you at work."