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Jokes Date: April 14, 2020

COVID-19 isolation updated statistics: confirmed cases: 0, beaten by wife: 3000, beaten by police: 1500

I hate pussies

I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the fakest thing I have ever seen.

Home alone jokes

Too bad Boris Johnson never watched Home Alone. It could have been a real game-changer.

Iran disabling their nuclear program

Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program. When asked how much time they needed, they said, "10, 9, 8...

I only drink twice a year

I only drink twice a year: When it's my birthday, and when it's not

My wife left a note on the fridge

My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working, I'm going to my mom's", Goodbye!", but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it.

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