Date: January 31, 2020
The Coronavirus can now be transmitted sexually. Luckily, most of you have nothing to worry about. It can't be transmitted by your own hand.
Boss sent me a message the other day: Send me some funny messages. I replied: I'm working right now, I will send you later. Boss: hahaha..send me another one
If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.
Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes.
Black olives matters. This is not a conspiracy theory. The antioxidant nutrients in black olives impede this oxidation of cholesterol, thereby helping to prevent heart disease. Olives do contain fat, but it's the healthy monounsaturated kind, which has been found to shrink the risk of atherosclerosis and increase good cholesterol.
A woman goes to the doctor... The doctor asks "What seems to be the problem?" She responds, "Every time I sneeze, I orgasm," The doctor asked, "Are you taking anything for it?" "Yeah, pepper.