Date: March 10, 2020
Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell
What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force
COVID-19 isolation updated statistics: confirmed cases: 0, beaten by wife: 3000, beaten by police: 1500
This morning I was beaten by a woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press one?" I don't remember much after that.
I only drink twice a year: When it's my birthday, and when it's not
MC Hammer recorded another version of "Can't touch this" after Chuck Norris touched it.