Date: March 4, 2020
Researchers just found a cure for cancer. Unfortunately, it's Coronavirus.
Breakthrough vaccine for COVID-19 has been found....eat two cloves of garlic every day. It's useless, doesn't kill the virus, but keeps everyone who can transmit it to you... a safe distance away!
This Valentines Day, I want to really surprise my wife. So I'm gonna introduce her to my girlfriend
COVID-19 isolation updated statistics: confirmed cases: 0, beaten by wife: 3000, beaten by police: 1500
Chuck Norris is 80 but has the body an 18-year-old... In the suitcase.
Curiosity killed the cat... NASA sincerely apologizes