Date: January 31, 2020
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill
My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working, I'm going to my mom's", Goodbye!", but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it.
This morning I was beaten by a woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press one?" I don't remember much after that.
Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force
What's the most common day to get sick on? Achoosday